Client Resources

The C’s of Self:

Calm, Clarity, Connectedness, Compassion, Confidence, Courage, Creativity, Curiosity

The P’s of Self:

Presence, Persistence, Perseverance, Playfulness, Perspective, and Patience

Helpful Things to Remember About Parts

  • The goal of Internal Family Systems is to become more connected to our Self and to become more Self-led. In no way are we trying to eliminate parts but rather to come into relationship with them.
  • All parts have Self and some parts have more Self than others.
  • Parts can be identified as strong thoughts or feelings. They tend to show up with some congruence in this regard. In other words, they tend to present with consistent narratives, concerns, and agendas. 
  • If there are opposing agendas then there are almost certainly two polarized parts.
  • Protective parts can show up as Managers who help us present ourselves to the world or as Firefighters who try to manage and decrease pain and/or fear in our systems.
  • It can be difficult to distinguish between these two protectors and ultimately their name is less important than what they’re trying to do for you. 
  • Managers can be so intricately woven into our lives that they can present themselves as Self. If you’re having a hard time determining if this is a protective part or Self, try asking these questions:
    1. Does the feeling or thought have an agenda? If it does, it’s a part. 
    2. Am I experiencing a sense of calm, clarity, and/or connectedness? Referring back to the Cs and Ps of Self can be a helpful way to identify whether you are experiencing part or Self.
  • One of the most effective interventions for protective parts is recognizing how they are trying to be helpful to you and to thank them. When parts feel appreciated they tend to calm.
  • Conversely, becoming oppositional with parts will lead to escalation of strong thoughts and feelings. Compassion is always the way.
  • Connection with Self is an on-going, life-long enterprise. Most of us start with small glimpses of Self which grow into greater, more profound connection with Self over time. The time is indeterminate… your timeline is the best timeline for you.

      Meditations to Increase Self

      Contact Point Exercise

      Ground and Release

      Establishing Safety in the Body

      Enhancing a Peaceful Inner Place

      Constructing a Container