Author: Jill Shealy

If you’ve started learning about Internal Family Systems (IFS), you’ve probably come across the 8 Cs and 5 Ps of Self. The 8 Cs are calm, curious, compassionate, confident, courageous, creative, clear, and connected. The 5 Ps are presence, patience, perspective, persistence, and playfulness. For many people, this list raises more questions than it answers.…

In my previous post, I described six different ways to think about blending and unblending. But another important question naturally follows: Why would I want to unblend in the first place? When people first learn about Self in Internal Family Systems (IFS), they often imagine that becoming Self-led means becoming calmer, softer, or more accepting.…

One of the most important concepts in Internal Family Systems (IFS) is the idea of blending and unblending. Yet for many people, these terms can feel abstract or confusing. How do you know when you’re blended with a part? What does unblending actually feel like? Does unblending mean getting rid of emotions or becoming detached?…

If you’ve spent any time around Internal Family Systems (IFS), you’ve probably heard therapists and practitioners talk about “Self.” Self is considered the healing agent in IFS and is central to the model. Yet it is also one of the most misunderstood concepts. People often assume that Self is simply a calm feeling, a wise…

1. Everyone Has Parts  Parts are not a sign that something is wrong with you, they are a universal feature of being human. Just like we take on different roles in life (mother, friend, worker, partner), we also have internal roles that show up in different situations. For some, parts come with strong somatic experience,…

If you’ve read my last post, you know that self-awareness is an important step, but insight alone often isn’t enough to calm persistent anxiety. In this post, we’ll explore what anxiety is often protecting underneath, why it can feel so stubborn, and how we can work with it in a gentle, practical way. 4. Anxiety…

Many people come to therapy feeling frustrated with their inability to manage or decrease anxiety. They might be practicing box breathing, they might be doing grounding exercises, or even meditating and yet, the anxiety keeps showing up. If that’s you, you are not alone and you are not doing anything wrong. Let’s explore why anxiety…

If you’ve tried therapy before and still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, you’re not alone. Many thoughtful, self-aware people understand why they feel the way they do, but that insight doesn’t always lead to real change. Internal Family Systems (IFS) therapy is different. It’s not about fixing you, it’s about helping you understand…

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a therapeutic modality that addresses your internal world in ways that CBT does not. All of us have difficult thoughts we would rather not have that sometimes persist despite our efforts to quiet them. Sometimes we can see, especially when we have a bit of distance from whatever brought the…